This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Randomize
