Walk of Shame. In a state park.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Is Oprah even human
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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