so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
