I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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