your thong is hanging out like whoa
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
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