There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
