What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
