i was rollin on her like bob the builder
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
