But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
