Say something about gay babies.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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