So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
