I am in a vortex of obligation.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
