i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
