so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
