You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
