He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Randomize