Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
