I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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