i would punch a child for taco bell
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
