I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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