If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
