I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
