We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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