That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
