pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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