Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
