dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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