you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
