I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
