addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
