There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
