She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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