I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
