I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
