there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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