Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
