did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
