Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
