Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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