Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize