So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
