Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Randomize
