Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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