Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
