But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
