I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
