Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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