Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize