YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
