My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
