So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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