He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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