so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
