White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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