Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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