Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
