I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
