If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize
