i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
if only i could text you this smell
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Dear god my vagina.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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