My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
