sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
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