I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
