took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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